Enjoy The Ride

Enjoy The Ride

So here it is… me working on me.  It took me a while to figure out how and if I would do this whole blogging thing. I was never really a diary type of person and now here I am throwing it all out there for everyone.  Yikes!  Anyway, I always did better writing down my feelings than saying them out loud so I’m hoping this becomes a bit theraputic for me.  If you’re reading this (gulp!) Hey There!  Welcome to my life.

So maybe you’re wondering why I’m writing this.  I led many roads in my life and I currently found myself in a position where I want to be happier than I am.  I found my happy… my real true happy on my weight loss journey last year.  It wasn’t really about the weight loss, though.  It was about finding confidence in myself as an individual, as a mom, as a wife and as a friend.  It was the first time in a very very long time that I decided to focus on me.  I’m a giver by nature.  I try to spread love, kindess and care to the best of my ability whenever I can.   While I’ve always focused on that, I’ve also always put myself on the back burner.  Putting myself first for the first time made me happier and more appreciative of the world around me.

Now to catch you up…. You’re probably thinking “Wait!  Why is this blog called, “Finding My Happy” if she found it?  Well, I lost it somewhere along the way.  After a 40lb weight loss, I got pregnant with baby number 3.  Fabulous pregnancy… aside from the gut wrenching nausea.  It was definitely the healthiest of the 3.  I managed to keep my weight down, I anxiously awaited the birth of my daughter and yearned to hop back into my old workout routine.  Baby arrives, doc clears physical activity and BAM! um… your blood pressure is 118/97 you might want to get that checked out.  WTF is this?  Where did that come from?  I hadn’t changed a thing.  Ok, not a big deal.  I can handle that.  It could get better with exercise. Fast foward 2 weeks later… um where the hell is my hair? This is not just run of the mill post-pregnancy hair loss.  No folks… what I failed to mention before is I have a condition called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, otherwise known as PCOS.  I’ve struggled with it since being diagnosed but more so from the time we decided to have children.  There is a laundry list of things a woman has to deal with when she has this metabolic disorder.  Hair loss happens to be one of them. Lucky me!  So here I was after a year long improvement on myself… I was left with high bp, hair loss and extra weight.   Did I fail to mention this new anxiety that has flipped my world upside down? I don’t want PCOS to define me but it is a part of my daily life.  It affects my eating habits, my exercise regime, my crazy mood swings and much more.  I may mention it from time to time but it WILL NOT define me.  You want to know the definition of me?  I’m a woman, a wife, a mother, an athlete.  I’m funny, crazy at times, intelligent, witty and creative.  I’m a giver, problem-solver and love with all my heart.  More often than not, I’m a forgetful hot mess.  I’m now restarting my journey to find my happy. Welcome to my world.  Enjoy the ride!

 

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